Love Triangle

Love is one of the strong emotional expression of any human being. Ideally this love should only be between two people or what we call a dyad relationship. If a third person come in between dire consequences results.

Love triangle refers to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people. It is a relationship which is unsuitable to one or more of the people involved. One person typically ends up feeling betrayed at some point for instance person X is jealous of person Z who is having a relationship with person Y who in persons X’s eyes, is “his” person.

In many cases love triangles have been known to lead to murder or suicide committed by the actual or perceived rejected lover. This relationship can be represented in geometric terms in a triangle we call eternal triangle

This eternal triangle is represented by three parts – jealous mate (A) in a relationship with an unfaithful partner (B) who has a lover (C). A feels abandoned, B is between two mates and C is a catalyst for crisis in the union A-B.

A collusive network is always needed to keep the triangle eternal. This may take a tragic form and there is no prospect of its ending except with death – the death of one of three people or two people.

Love triangles are a popular theme in entertainment, especially in opera , romance, novels, soap operas, romantic comedies and popular music.

In Kenya incidents of love triangle have recently been witnessed with tragic end.

In Migori Kenya, a jilted man allegedly killed his wife by strangling her. Residents were shocked to discover the body of a woman at her house in Mbwa kali village. It was alleged that the man was bitter after realizing that the wife of seven years was seeing another man (see Standard newspaper June 27,2013).

Recently it was reported in one of our local dailies how one woman conspired to get her husband killed after suspecting him. And in a more sensational story last week is the death of a man who was supposedly to have been a lover of a senior politician’s wife. His death has left many Kenyans with their mouth agape (wide open).Who might have killed him, the husband of the lover, or the lover herself? Or the fourth person probably a lady came in the picture. I hope we will get the answer as events unfold (See DNA of July 5, 2013 and DNA July 2, 2013)

There is s possibility of a fourth person having been involved in the case of the senior politician. It is what we can call a love rectangle (quadrangle or quad) which is a term used to describe a romantic relationship that involves four people. Love rectangles tend to be more complicated than love triangles. Love triangle has an effect in a relationship. It adds another dimension to the already difficult task of recreating balance in a troubled relationship. Two people become a couple when they each perceive there is a balance in the equity of the relationship. When the third party comes in the other one feels unloved and jealousy crops in. The unconnected partner seeks to undermine the triangle and the balancing act becomes complex. This drama widens the emotional connection of the couple and the marriage relationship becomes less important. Divorce and death may also result apart from the emotional disconnect.

As we experience more of social change we expect also to witness more of love triangles if not quadrangles or quad. But to a counselor or a sociologists, the lingering question is what motivates a person to be involved in a love triangle?

A person can be involved in the love triangle due to motivations such as support, sexual desire, preserving, marriage, promoting self reliance, personal growth or responsibility, revenge and humiliation.

In conclusion it is important to note that apart from jealousy, emotional disconnect, divorce and death, the children may find themselves in catch 22 who are they going to relate with? But of great irony is that most third parties feel self righteous about their emotional involvement.